Ethan Rhodes
Supporting a family member or friend in the hospital can be challenging, and it's often hard to know what to do or say. Showing up for your loved one is important, but it's also crucial to respect their boundaries and limitations. Here are some ways to support a friend or family member in the hospital: offer to help with specific tasks like house cleaning, pet care, or meals; provide fun activities for siblings; maintain open communication; and remember that your presence and emotional support can be invaluable.
| Characteristics | Values |
|---|---|
| Be there for them | Show up or send messages of support |
| Respect boundaries | Give them space and don't take it personally if they don't respond |
| Offer specific help | Suggest tasks like house cleaning, lawn care, pet sitting, etc. |
| Provide distractions | Share what's happening in your life to provide a sense of normalcy |
| Offer spiritual support | Chaplains can provide confidential and compassionate listening |
| Help with siblings | Offer to take the other children for a few hours or plan fun activities |
| Bring food | Set up meal deliveries or send gift cards for food |
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What You'll Learn
- Offer practical help with day-to-day tasks, like house cleaning, pet care, or meals
- Respect boundaries and limitations, and don't take silence or distance personally
- Provide distractions and a sense of normalcy by sharing what's happening in your life
- Offer to take care of siblings, so parents can focus on the hospitalised child
- Send thoughtful gifts, like books, tissues, or a reloaded coffee shop gift card
Offer practical help with day-to-day tasks, like house cleaning, pet care, or meals
When a family member is in the hospital, it can be challenging to manage day-to-day tasks on top of providing support to your loved one. Here are some ways to offer practical help to ease the burden on the family:
House Cleaning
Offer to help with house cleaning, whether it's a one-time deep clean or regular upkeep. You can take on tasks such as vacuuming, dusting, doing the laundry, or organizing common areas. If the family is comfortable with it, you can also coordinate professional cleaning services or enlist the help of other willing volunteers to ensure the house is maintained during this challenging time.
Pet Care
Pet care is another area where you can provide valuable assistance. If the family has a dog, you can volunteer to take the dog for walks, provide pet-sitting services, or even coordinate with the family to board their pet at a trusted kennel or with a friend. For other types of pets, such as cats, fish, or small animals, you can offer to visit the family's home regularly to feed, clean, and spend time with their furry friends. Remember to respect the family's wishes and comfort level with having others care for their pets.
Meals
Meals are always appreciated, especially during a hospital stay. You can provide freshly cooked meals or freezer meals that the family can easily reheat. Consider dishes such as soups, casseroles, pasta bakes, or ethnic dishes that freeze and reheat well. Accompany your meals with snacks like granola bars, fresh and canned fruit, crackers, or homemade cookies. These can be easily carried to and from the hospital and shared with visitors. Don't forget to use disposable containers to avoid adding to the family's dishwashing burden.
Remember to communicate openly and ask the family about their specific needs and preferences. By offering practical help with these day-to-day tasks, you can make a difficult time more manageable for your loved ones.
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Respect boundaries and limitations, and don't take silence or distance personally
When a family member is in the hospital, it can be a stressful and overwhelming time for everyone involved. It's important to respect the boundaries and limitations of your friends or family members who are dealing with this situation. Here are some ways to do that:
- Understand their limited availability and silence: They may not always be able to respond to your calls or messages, and that's okay. As Jill Twomey-McLaughlin, a child life specialist, says, "It’s important to let your friend know that you respect their boundaries and limitations... Their inability to stay in touch isn’t personal; they’re focusing on their child."
- Don't take their silence personally: They may need space and time to process their emotions and the situation. Give them permission to ignore you if needed.
- Offer specific ways to help: Instead of asking, "What can I do?" offer specific actions such as running errands, taking care of pets, or providing meals. This takes the burden off them to think of ways you can help.
- Respect their comfort level in sharing information: Some people may want to share more details about their loved one's condition, while others may prefer to keep things private. Respect their wishes and don't push for information if they're not comfortable sharing.
- Support the entire family: Remember that the patient's family members are also affected by the hospitalization. Offer to take siblings for a few hours, provide meals, or help with household chores to ease the burden on the family.
- Continue offering support after the hospital stay: The family may still need support even after their loved one returns home. Continue to check in and provide meals as they adjust to their new normal.
Remember, everyone's needs are different, so it's important to communicate openly and respect the boundaries set by your friends or family members during this challenging time.
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Provide distractions and a sense of normalcy by sharing what's happening in your life
When a family member is in the hospital, it can be a stressful and overwhelming time for everyone involved. It is important to respect the patient's and their family's boundaries and limitations, and to understand that they may not always be available to stay in touch. However, there are ways to provide support and help them cope with the situation.
One way to support a family member in the hospital is to provide distractions and a sense of normalcy. This can be especially important for children who may find hospital visits challenging and uncomfortable. Distraction techniques can help alleviate their fears and provide a positive experience. For example, you can bring or send interactive and age-appropriate apps, games, books, toys, and other items that can divert their attention and provide comfort. Reading materials, family photos, and flowers can also be great ways to provide a sense of familiarity and normalcy.
Additionally, sharing what is happening in your life can help take their mind off their current situation and provide a sense of connection and normality. This can be done by maintaining open communication and sharing stories or updates about your day-to-day life. For instance, you can talk about a recent outing or a fun activity you did, or you can plan a fun activity with the patient's siblings to help them focus on being a kid.
It is also beneficial to offer specific and tangible ways to help with the day-to-day tasks, such as arranging house cleaning, lawn care, pet sitting, or providing meal support. This can take a burden off the family and allow them to focus on their loved one in the hospital. Remember to always ask for permission and respect their wishes, as every family is different and their needs may vary.
By providing distractions, sharing your life experiences, and offering practical support, you can help your family member in the hospital feel more at ease and provide them with a sense of normalcy during a difficult time.
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Offer to take care of siblings, so parents can focus on the hospitalised child
When a child is in the hospital, the whole family is affected, and parents may feel overwhelmed and stressed. Offering to take care of the siblings of the hospitalized child can help parents focus on their hospitalized child and give them some much-needed support. Here are some ways to do this:
Offer Practical Help
Firstly, it is important to ask the parents what they need and how you can help. You can then offer practical support with the day-to-day tasks, such as arranging for the siblings to be cared for while the parents are at the hospital. Offer to take the siblings for the day, or even just for a few hours, so the parents can have a break and focus on their hospitalized child. This will also allow the siblings to have a change of scenery and some fun.
Keep Routines
It is important to maintain the siblings' daily routines as much as possible. Keep to their usual schedules, rules, and activities. This provides a sense of normalcy and stability during a stressful time. You can also encourage them to continue their daily tasks, such as school or extracurricular activities, to help them feel involved and maintain a sense of routine.
Encourage Expression
Siblings may experience a range of emotions, such as worry, jealousy, resentment, or anger. It is important to recognize and validate these feelings. Encourage them to express their emotions through play, art, or writing. Let them know it is okay to feel angry or frustrated sometimes and that these feelings are normal. You can also suggest they seek support from a child life specialist or another professional if they need additional help processing their emotions.
Involve Siblings in Care
Involving siblings in their brother's or sister's care can help them feel included and connected. They can participate in activities at home or during hospital visits. Help them choose photographs, toys, books, or stuffed animals to bring to the hospital to decorate their sibling's room and make it more comfortable. They can also send letters, cards, or care packages to the hospital to stay connected and feel involved in their sibling's care.
Provide Information
Keep the lines of communication open and provide age-appropriate, honest information to the siblings about their brother's or sister's condition and needs. This can help reduce feelings of uncertainty, rejection, or worry. Explain what is happening at the hospital and what to expect during visits. It is important to prepare them for what they will see and hear at the hospital using honest and age-appropriate language.
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Send thoughtful gifts, like books, tissues, or a reloaded coffee shop gift card
When a family member is in the hospital, it can be a stressful and overwhelming time for everyone involved. It can be hard to know what to do or say to support your loved ones, but thoughtful gifts can go a long way in showing that you care. Here are some ideas for thoughtful gifts to send to your family in the hospital:
Books
Books can be a great way to help your family member pass the time during their hospital stay. If you know their favorite genres or authors, you can choose a book that aligns with their interests. Alternatively, you could get them a gift card to an online bookstore so they can choose their own titles. E-books or audiobooks are also a good option, especially if your family member is staying in the hospital for an extended period and may need a continuous supply of new reading material.
Tissues and Toilet Paper
This may seem like an unusual gift, but high-quality, soft tissues and toilet paper can be a welcome luxury in a hospital setting. It shows that you are thinking about their comfort and well-being during their stay.
Coffee Shop Gift Card
A gift card to a coffee shop can be a simple way to offer financial support and a little treat to your family member in the hospital. It gives them the flexibility to choose their favorite coffee or tea and provides a small break from the hospital environment. If there is a particular coffee shop close to the hospital, that might be a convenient option so that they don't have to travel too far.
Reloadable Gift Cards
Consider giving your family member a reloadable gift card. This allows you to provide ongoing support, especially if their hospital stay is extended. You can add funds to the card as needed, which they can use for various expenses. This could include the cost of gas or parking, which can be a helpful way to reduce some of the financial burdens associated with hospital visits.
Comfortable Clothing
A hospital stay can be uncomfortable, and wearing a hospital gown for an extended period can be dehumanizing. Consider gifting comfortable and practical clothing items, such as soft gowns, robes, or adaptive clothing with features like zipper closures and accessible openings. You can also include cozy socks with grippers to keep their feet warm and safe from slips and falls.
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Frequently asked questions
It's important to communicate with your friends and get their permission before offering help. You can offer to help with day-to-day tasks such as house cleaning, lawn care, pet sitting, and grocery deliveries. You can also provide meals or gift cards for food delivery services. If they have other children, you can offer to take them for a few hours so they can have fun and focus on being kids.
It's good to communicate with your loved one and let them know you're aware of the situation and are there for them. You can offer to help with specific tasks or provide small gestures of support, such as their favourite tissues or a coffee. You can also maintain communication by sharing what's happening in your life, which can provide a sense of normalcy and be a distraction.
It's important to respect your friend or family member's boundaries and limitations, and not take it personally if they are not responsive. You can offer to visit them in the hospital or provide messages of support. If you do visit, keep in mind that hospital visits can be uncomfortable due to examinations and medications that affect behaviour. You can bring items such as family photos, reading materials, and flowers, but avoid anything valuable or large floral arrangements.
You can offer to help the other family members, such as by providing meals or gift cards for food. You can also maintain open communication with the healthcare team and express your gratitude for their work. It's important to plan ahead and have honest conversations about healthcare wishes before a crisis occurs.
