Shinki's Unforgivable Act: Asuka's Hospital Trauma

In the anime *Evangelion,* Asuka Langley Sohryu is a character who has a complex relationship with Shinji. In the hospital scene in *The End of Evangelion*, Shinji visits Asuka, who is comatose after attempting suicide. In a moment of desperation, he accidentally exposes her breasts and masturbates. This scene has been interpreted as a sexual assault, with Shinji violating Asuka's consent. The incident causes Shinji to feel guilt and self-loathing, and it damages his relationship with Asuka. The scene is a pivotal moment in the story, highlighting Shinji's fragile mental state and the complex dynamics between the characters.

Shinji's mental state and breakdown

The hospital scene in *End of Evangelion* is a culmination of Shinji's breakdown, revealing his mental state at his lowest point. The scene depicts Shinji seeking comfort and attention from a hospitalized Asuka, who is asleep and unresponsive. In his desperation, Shinji shakes Asuka's body, inadvertently ripping her shirt open and exposing her breasts. This act, driven by pent-up frustration and attraction, leads Shinji to masturbate next to her. This decision is rash and violent, reflecting Shinji's fragile state of mind and resulting in a temporary breakdown.

Leading up to this scene, Shinji has experienced a series of traumatic events, including witnessing Rei's sacrifice and learning that she is a clone, as well as the breakdown of Ritsuko and the betrayal by his "friend" Tabris, whom he is forced to kill. These incidents push Shinji to the edge, and his soul is described as "pretty much dead," with all barriers broken down.

Asuka, in this scene, represents the only person whose love Shinji believes can rescue him from his despair. However, his actions cause profound emotional damage to Asuka, further complicating their already tense relationship. Despite her awareness of his actions, Asuka's response to Shinji is complex, as she demands reciprocity in their affections.

The hospital scene is a pivotal moment in Shinji's character arc, showcasing his vulnerability and the extent of his emotional turmoil. It highlights the impact of his past experiences and the breakdown of his mental state, leading to a loss of the will to live. This scene generates strong opinions among viewers, with some feeling that it ruins Shinji's character, while others sympathize with his mental state and find his actions understandable, if not justifiable.

The scene also raises questions about the nature of sex and its representation in the series. Sex in *Evangelion* is often depicted as a manifestation of anxiety or a means to express dominance or shame. This further contextualizes Shinji's actions and adds depth to the analysis of his mental state and breakdown.

Asuka's mixed feelings for Shinji

Asuka's feelings towards Shinji are complex and multifaceted. On the one hand, she proclaims that she can't stand the sight of him and is often repulsed by him because he represents many things she hates and sees as wrong with herself and people in general. She also feels disgusted and resentful towards him, especially after the hospital scene where Shinji accidentally exposes her breasts and masturbates next to her while she is unconscious. This incident causes Asuka to confront Shinji and demand reciprocity and commitment from him, indicating that she wants his affections as long as they are exclusive to her.

On the other hand, Asuka's feelings towards Shinji are not solely negative. She admits that he has gotten past her armour and managed to eclipse Kaji in her heart, and that she yearns for his embrace and warmth. This suggests that despite her tough outward persona, Asuka desires emotional connection and support from Shinji. Additionally, Asuka and Shinji are seen as mirror images of each other, both secretly wishing to be understood and loved for who they truly are. Shinji, in particular, is desperate for someone to love him and see past his constant avoidance of other people, which may explain his unhealthy attraction to Asuka.

Asuka's mixed feelings towards Shinji can be attributed to their similar backgrounds and shared experiences. Both characters have suffered trauma and emotional damage, which has left them with deep-seated insecurities and a yearning for the love they never received as children. Despite their mutual attraction, Shinji's actions in the hospital scene and his fear of Misato and Rei create further complications in their relationship, pushing Asuka away and causing her to demand reciprocity.

Overall, Asuka's feelings towards Shinji are complex and contradictory, reflecting the theme of the show that "people have a hard time understanding each other, and they understand themselves even less."

Shinji's actions as sexual assault

In the hospital scene in *The End of Evangelion*, Shinji visits Asuka, who is comatose after attempting suicide. He is seeking comfort and attention, and is desperate to wake her up, as she is the only person left with whom he has any sort of connection. In his attempts to rouse her, he accidentally exposes her breasts and then masturbates.

Shinji's actions can be interpreted as sexual assault. While he did not touch Asuka directly, he did remove her clothing without her consent. This is a clear violation, as the law and ethical standards are unequivocal about the importance of consent. Furthermore, the fact that Asuka was unconscious and unable to respond or give consent makes Shinji's actions even more disturbing.

The complexity of the situation lies in the context of Shinji's mental state and the nature of his relationship with Asuka. Shinji was at his lowest point, having experienced a series of traumatic events, including the death of Rei, betrayal by a friend, and the attempted sexual assault by Misato. He was desperate for emotional support and felt that only Asuka's love could help him recover. In this state of heightened frustration and attraction, he acted on his primal urges.

However, it is important to recognize that Shinji's actions had profound emotional consequences for Asuka. Despite her complex feelings for him, which included love and repulsion, his actions damaged their relationship and pushed her further towards the edge.

While the narrative explores the motivations and vulnerabilities of both characters, it is essential to acknowledge that Shinji's actions caused harm and violated Asuka's consent.

Asuka's troubled past and suicide attempt

Asuka Langley Sohryu, a native of Germany with an American father and a German-Japanese mother, is a complex character with a troubled past. She is a child prodigy, having earned a university degree in an unspecified field as a teenager. She also speaks fluent Japanese but struggles with reading and writing kanji. Asuka's age is an important factor in shaping her character development; at 13 years old for most of the series, she yearns for adult recognition and associates adulthood with sexuality.

Asuka's story takes a darker turn when she experiences a mental breakdown after contact with the 16th Angel, leading to her attempted suicide. It is implied that she slits her wrists, although this is never explicitly confirmed. Asuka's suicide attempt is a result of her belief that she has no purpose without piloting her Eva. Fortunately, she is found near death by NERV and later visualizes her own corpse in 'The End of Evangelion'. Despite her troubled past and emotional struggles, Asuka chooses to return from Instrumentality, reflecting her resilience and determination to move forward.

Asuka's interactions with Shinji, another complex character, are particularly noteworthy. Their relationship is marked by tension, with Asuka expressing her dislike and contempt for Shinji on multiple occasions. However, there is also a hint of underlying sexual tension between them. In one controversial scene, Shinji seeks comfort and attention from a hospitalized Asuka, who is asleep and unable to respond. In a moment of rash and violent decision-making, Shinji exposes himself and masturbates next to her, leading to a temporary breakdown. This incident highlights the complex dynamics between the two characters and the profound emotional damage inflicted by Shinji's actions.

Shinji's trauma and self-loathing

Shinji's actions in the hospital scene in *End of Evangelion* are indicative of his trauma and self-loathing. By this point in the story, Shinji has witnessed a series of traumatic events, including Rei's sacrifice and the destruction of her bodies, Ritsuko's breakdown, and the betrayal and killing of his "friend" Tabris. This has left him in a desperate and vulnerable state, seeking comfort and attention from Asuka, who is hospitalized and unconscious.

In his attempt to wake Asuka, Shinji inadvertently rips open her shirt, exposing her breasts. Driven by pent-up frustration and attraction, he masturbates next to her. This act is interpreted by some as sexual assault and reflects Shinji's emotional breakdown and loss of control. The scene highlights the deep emotional damage caused by Shinji's actions, which pushes Asuka "over the edge."

Shinji's self-loathing becomes evident in the aftermath of the incident. He expresses shame and terror at his actions, stating, "I'm so fucked up." His self-hatred is so profound that he loses the will to live and gains the will to die. Shinji's breakdown and self-loathing can be understood in the context of his traumatic experiences and the pressure he feels to find comfort and affection from Asuka, who he believes is the only person who can help him recover.

The hospital scene is a pivotal moment in Shinji's character arc, revealing the depth of his trauma and self-loathing. It is a controversial and disturbing scene that has sparked debates among fans and critics. Some argue that it ruins Shinji's character, while others sympathize with his mental state and the factors that led to his actions. The scene highlights the complex and flawed nature of Shinji's character, showcasing his descent into desperation and the emotional fallout that follows.

The scene also invites reflection on the broader themes of the narrative, including the nature of sex and its relationship to anxiety, shame, and trauma. Shinji's actions in the hospital scene are not merely about physical release but are symptomatic of his troubled psyche and the profound emotional damage he has endured. The scene serves as a powerful exploration of Shinji's trauma and self-loathing, offering a disturbing yet compelling insight into his character.

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