Claire Dawson
Being admitted to a hospital as an inpatient can be a stressful experience, especially if you need to stay overnight. There are many reasons why a person might need to stay in the hospital, ranging from serious illnesses or injuries to mental health issues. While it is not advisable to intentionally put yourself in a position where hospitalization is required, if you do need to be admitted, it is important to know what to expect. Upon arrival, you will be greeted by a nurse who will ask you questions about your medical history and symptoms, and they will also take your vital signs. The hospital staff will explain the processes and procedures to you, and you will be actively involved in making decisions about your treatment.
| Characteristics | Values |
|---|---|
| Reasons for hospital stay | Operation, test, surgery, childbirth, inpatient procedure, emergency |
| Hospital staff | Nurses, doctors, medical students, interns, residents, fellows, PAs, nurse practitioners, senior staff physician, specialists |
| Hospital accommodations | Mixed-sex, single-sex, private rooms |
| Hospital stay duration | Overnight, weeks, months |
| Hospital stay preparation | Pack personal hygiene items, entertainment, snacks, drinks, valuables |
| Hospital admission process | Triage based on symptoms or type of injury, paperwork |
| Hospital inpatient rights | Involvement in treatment decisions, privacy, guidance, support |
| Hospital inpatient recommendations | Wear a face covering, self-isolate, get tested for COVID-19 |
| Ways to get admitted to the hospital | Alcohol poisoning, breaking a bone, chest pains, breathing difficulties, eating raw meat, threatening suicide |
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What You'll Learn
Fake chest pains and breathing difficulties
To fake chest pains and breathing difficulties, you can simulate some of the symptoms that typically accompany these issues. Here are some things you can do to try to convince medical professionals that you are experiencing chest pains and breathing difficulties:
Firstly, you can feign chest pain by clutching your chest and groaning or wincing in pain. You can also claim to feel a crushing or squeezing sensation in your chest, which is a common symptom of a heart attack. Additionally, you can pretend to experience radiating pain that spreads to other areas of your upper body, such as your arms, neck, or jaw.
Secondly, to mimic breathing difficulties, you can exhibit signs of shortness of breath, also known as dyspnea. This can include rapid breathing, working hard to take deep breaths, and feeling like you cannot catch your breath. You can also pretend to have a wheezing or whistling sound when you breathe, which is known as stridor or wheezing.
Furthermore, you can exhibit other accompanying symptoms such as lightheadedness, dizziness, nausea, or vomiting. You can also pretend to have a rapid or irregular heartbeat, which is called heart palpitations. Exhibiting these additional symptoms can make your performance more convincing.
However, it is important to remember that faking medical issues is unethical and can waste valuable healthcare resources. It can also potentially delay care for those who genuinely need medical attention. Therefore, while you can attempt to fake chest pains and breathing difficulties, doing so may not be advisable and could have unintended consequences.
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Threaten suicide
If you are experiencing suicidal thoughts, threatening suicide, or know someone who is, seeking professional support is a brave and effective step. Support is available, and you are not alone.
When you go to the ER, you will be asked to explain why you are there. You can say this in whatever way feels most comfortable: "I am feeling suicidal", "I have a suicide plan", "I'm having suicidal thoughts", "I'm feeling really depressed", etc. After this, a mental health crisis professional will come to evaluate you. They will ask you questions to assess your suicide risk and determine the level of care you need. Be honest with them so they can get you the help that fits your situation. You may be asked if you have a plan, if you've had previous attempts, thoughts, or hospitalizations, what medications you are taking, and about any issues going on in your life.
Based on your evaluation, you may be cleared to go home if professionals determine your chances of a suicide attempt have lowered. In these cases, you will likely be sent home with a care plan, which could include returning to the hospital for outpatient visits or working with a psychologist or psychiatrist. If a mental health professional at the ER determines that you need additional support that cannot wait, you may be transferred to a higher level of care, such as a residential treatment program or psychiatric hospital.
Inpatient hospitalization is used when a person is at risk of harming themselves or others. The average length of stay is 5-7 days but varies depending on the situation. Partial hospitalization programs (PHP) are outpatient day treatments where you attend for 6+ hours every day or every weekday. Intensive Outpatient Programs (IOP) are 3-4 hour treatments, usually at night or in the afternoon, 3-4 times a week.
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Drink enough alcohol to induce poisoning
Drinking alcohol can be dangerous, and there is no safe amount of alcohol consumption when it comes to health. Alcohol is a toxic, psychoactive, and dependence-producing substance. It is also a Group 1 carcinogen, which is the highest-risk category, including substances like asbestos, radiation, and tobacco. Even light and moderate drinking can cause alcohol-attributable cancers, with half of these cancers in the WHO European Region caused by drinking less than 1.5 litres of wine or 3.5 litres of beer or 450 ml of spirits per week.
Drinking enough alcohol to induce poisoning is a sure way to land yourself in the hospital overnight. Alcohol poisoning occurs when there is a toxic amount of alcohol in the bloodstream, and it can be life-threatening. The amount of alcohol that can lead to poisoning varies from person to person, depending on factors such as body weight, the speed of drinking, and the amount of food consumed. However, binge drinking, defined as consuming four or more drinks for women and five or more drinks for men on the same occasion, significantly increases the risk of alcohol poisoning.
To induce alcohol poisoning and require hospitalization, one would need to consume a large amount of alcohol in a short period, enough to reach a blood alcohol level of 0.40% or higher. At this level, vital life functions begin to shut down, and the risk of death increases significantly. Symptoms of alcohol poisoning include confusion, vomiting, seizures, slow or irregular breathing (less than eight breaths per minute), blue-tinged or pale skin, hypothermia, and unconsciousness. If you or someone you know is experiencing these symptoms, immediate medical attention is required.
If you are seeking hospitalization by intentionally inducing alcohol poisoning, it is important to recognize the severe health risks associated with this action. Alcohol poisoning can lead to permanent brain damage, breathing problems, choking on vomit, irregular heart rhythms, aspiration, hypoglycaemia, and even death. Furthermore, alcohol is a depressant, and excessive consumption can lead to impaired judgment, which may result in accidental injuries requiring hospitalization. Therefore, while drinking enough alcohol to induce poisoning may achieve your goal of an overnight hospital stay, it is an extremely dangerous method that poses significant risks to your health and well-being.
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Eat raw chicken or pork
Eating raw chicken or pork can be dangerous, and may require hospitalisation. Raw chicken, in particular, can contain harmful bacteria, including Campylobacter, Salmonella, and Clostridium perfringens, which can lead to foodborne illnesses like salmonella and food poisoning. The symptoms of food poisoning include abdominal cramping, diarrhoea, and vomiting. In severe cases, food poisoning can lead to dehydration, which may require hospitalisation.
To avoid foodborne illnesses from raw chicken or pork, it is important to cook the meat thoroughly until it reaches an internal temperature of 165 degrees Fahrenheit (74 degrees Celsius). This high temperature kills harmful bacteria and significantly lowers the risk of food poisoning. It is also important to practise good food hygiene when handling raw meat, such as using separate cutting boards for raw meat and produce, and thoroughly cleaning and sanitising surfaces and utensils.
If you believe you have consumed raw chicken or pork, it is recommended to wait and monitor for any symptoms of foodborne illness, such as diarrhoea, abdominal cramps, nausea, vomiting, and fever. In the meantime, it is important to stay hydrated by drinking water, diluted fruit juice, clear broth, sports drinks, or oral rehydration solutions.
If symptoms develop, it is recommended to take over-the-counter medications such as loperamide (Imodium) or bismuth subsalicylate (Pepto-Bismol) to relieve diarrhoea and nausea. It is also important to get plenty of rest and stay near a bathroom due to diarrhoea or vomiting.
In severe cases of foodborne illness or food poisoning, hospitalisation may be required. Symptoms that warrant hospitalisation include severe dehydration, bloody diarrhoea, high fever (above 102 degrees Fahrenheit), and severe abdominal pain. If you are unable to keep fluids down or are experiencing any warning signs, seek medical help immediately.
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Drink anti-freeze
Drinking antifreeze is a surefire way to land yourself in the hospital. Antifreeze is a liquid used to cool engines, and it only takes a small amount to poison the human body and cause life-threatening complications.
If you or someone you know has ingested antifreeze, it is important to act quickly. Get immediate help by calling your local emergency number or the poison control center. In the United States, the poison help hotline can be reached toll-free at 1-800-222-1222. Bring the antifreeze container with you to the hospital, if possible, so that medical professionals can identify the specific chemicals involved.
Once you arrive at the hospital, medical staff will monitor your vital signs, including temperature, pulse, breathing rate, and blood pressure. They will also work to address the effects of antifreeze poisoning, which can interfere with kidney, lung, brain, and nervous system function. Treatment may include dialysis (kidney machine) and medication to prevent kidney failure, brain damage, and other permanent damage to your lungs or heart.
It is important to note that even if you feel fine after ingesting antifreeze, you should still seek medical attention. Symptoms of antifreeze poisoning can take several hours to develop, and as your body continues to break down the antifreeze, it can be converted into other toxic substances. Don't delay treatment—it could mean the difference between life and death.
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Frequently asked questions
If you have been referred to the hospital for an operation or test and you need to stay overnight, it means you are being treated as an inpatient. If you are experiencing an emergency, you can go to the emergency room and will be triaged based on your symptoms or type of injury.
When you arrive at the hospital, a nurse will ask you questions about your medical history and any symptoms you may have. They will get you settled into your hospital room and take your vital signs, including your temperature, blood pressure, and heart rate. You will also be given an identity bracelet to wear at all times.
When planning a stay in the hospital, it is important to pack everything you need to be comfortable. This includes personal hygiene items, comfortable clothing, entertainment, and snacks or drinks. It is also recommended to leave valuables at home, as hospitals will not take responsibility for stolen items.
